Addiction

Every time we get together and find some privacy, we’ve been going a little closer to the fornication that Ben keeps nattering about. I’m not sure I see the big deal, you know? It feels good, really good, and yeah, I do keep wanting more… but I can’t see myself turning into some uncontrollable slut over it. Can’t see myself drooling over guys from school to get it.

Once school’s out for the year, opportunities are a hell of a lot easier to find. Mum’s at work most days, and though I’m not supposed to have visitors, it’s not like we have nosey old women neighbours who’ll spy and tell Mum that I had a boy over. So Mark comes over after breakfast and lets himself in the back door. I stop the DVD I’m watching and stand up to kiss him.

“Ooh, movies and snuggling?” he asks suggestively.

“Not on your life, boyo – if Mum comes home unexpectedly I want more warning than ‘click, shove, MAISYYOU’REGROUNDED!’ … thanks!”

He laughs.

“Oh, easy for you to laugh!”

He pretends to sober up.

“Come with me…”

“Awww, but it looks comfy… and you have Twisties!”

“Huh – fine, stay here. I’ll be in my room.”

He follows meekly down the hall, snickering.

I close the bedroom door and he grabs me around the waist, pulls me to him and kisses me. Man, this boy can kiss. When I can be bothered coming up for air, I break away and grab his hand.

“Come lie down with me – you wanted comfy, remember?”

He pulls back a little.

“You sure?”

I shrug.

“I want comfy and close, that’s all,” I say, and grin.

We lie down, side by side, and kiss again. Then his breathing gets heavier and faster, and he puts a hand on my waist, slides it up under my tshirt and over one breast. I freeze for a moment, but he slips a finger under the bra and it grazes my nipple and OHMYGOD my skin goes tingly and it feels GOOD. Then we’re kissing again and that feels even better, and he stops kissing my mouth and starts to kiss my neck and my ribs and my breasts and then he’s sucking on a nipple.

“OW!”

“Sorry,” he says, and stops, looking kinda silly.

“I didn’t say stop.”

“Maybe we should, though.”

“Mmm… you’re probably right.”

I pout. I know he’s right, but I want more. Now.

****

The next day he sneaks over, I do to him what he did to me – lie him on his back, pull his tshirt up, slide my fingers lightly over his muscled belly and chest, kiss his neck and throat and his chest. His breathing speeds up whenever I kiss his neck, and I smile. Got him.

****

We don’t just spend our time snogging and feeling each other up. We watch movies, go swimming, go to church and parties and youth group. We do the friends thing, and sometimes we go somewhere quiet and do the other stuff.

One evening, liberally smeared with mozzie repellant, we lie in our place near the beach on the river. We eat another picnic, then push it aside to make room to lie down. We kiss and nuzzle at each other’s neck and, feeling daring, I move a hand slowly downwards instead, over the hip of his boardies, down the outside of his thigh. Again his breath gets faster and heavier, then he pulls my hips against his and kisses me hard, shoving his tongue into my mouth. At first it’s just uncomfortable, then I realise that the hard bulk pressing against me is his erection, and he’s really turned on, and it’s like hearing I’ve won the lottery, except the feeling’s all in my groin. Suddenly I see how this whole thing can get dangerously addictive, and I don’t care. He stops, moves away a bit. I frown and start to close the distance, but he puts a hand on my stomach and pushes gently so I roll onto my back. Then his hand worms downwards til it’s between my legs, and only thin boardshort fabric between it and my skin. He presses, feeling out the curves, then just strokes very gently, and I have my first orgasm.

“Holy crap, was that supposed to happen?” I say once I have my voice back.

He blushes.

“Guess so?”

We laugh.

“That was amazing.”

“Umm… thanks?”

“Can I – do the same for you? Seems unfair, otherwise.”

“Should we really be doing this?”

I shrug.

“It’s done now, right? Can’t hurt to reciprocate, I figure?”

He frowns.

“What do I do?” I ask, moving a hand to his hip and kissing his throat.

Just like that, his breathing changes and I know he’s done arguing. I trail my fingers over his shorts to the erection, curious to actually feel one. It’s hard, like muscle on someone lifting something heavy, and larger than I’d imagined. It’s not completely smooth, more like slight ridges at odd angles, and one big ridge the entire length, down the front. Huh. The things you don’t learn in sex ed, eh? There’s a softer part on the end, more sensitive I’m figuring, because he draws in a quick breath as I slide a couple of fingers around it, and his eyes lose focus. I stroke up and down a couple of times, kind of like what I’ve seen guys do to themselves in movies, and he stiffens and grimaces. I stop, worried I’ve caused him friction burn or something. But the grimace is gone, so I tentatively move my fingers again – and he pushes my hand away.

“God, that was -”

He seems lost for words, and just kisses me instead.

I think he liked it.

Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition

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“Maisy?”

“Yeah, Mum?”

“What’s going on with you and Mark?”

I shrug.

“Don’t shrug at me, love – what’s going on between you?”

I sigh. Well, the sex talk had to happen eventually.

“Nothing much, Mum. We’re friends, OK?”

“Just friends?”

I shrug at her again.

“We tried kissing – it didn’t work so good. So yup, just friends, Mum.”

“Well, OK.”

She doesn’t look happy, but I haven’t given her much room to nag me about Mark – and that’s all I’m really worried about.

“So -”

Oh God, MORE talk?

“- is there anyone you are interested in?” she asks.

I shrug again.

“Words, love?”

“Mum! There’s no-one. It’s Bathurst, they’re all idiots.”

She laughs.

“Fine, I’ll stop torturing you,” she says.

“THANK YOU!”

****

“Mum finally started asking the questions,” I say.

“What’d you say?” Mark asks, quirking an eyebrow at me.

“That we’re just friends – we tried being more and it didn’t work.”

“She was happy with that?”

“Kinda – I think she’d prefer I didn’t touch a man til I’m 30 or something.”

“Hey, are we – more than friends?”

Huh. I shoulda seen this one coming.

“Does it matter?”

“I think so,” he says, looking serious, “I mean… if one of us is thinking one thing, and the other is thinking another, then… couldn’t someone get hurt?”

He’s making a lot of sense, but I’m antsy. I want this to be like our friendship has always been before – simple, just like jigsaw pieces fitting together. Right because we fit, not because of something we say or do.

“I – want to be friends,” I say in a rush. I know this is likely to hurt him, or hurt us, but I can’t think of any tactful way to get it out. “I love you, I love kissing you, but – I don’t want to do the playing at love thing, you know? I’d prefer to be friends, and be more, but leave the pressure out of it?”

He nods.

“And what if one of us falls in love? With the other, with someone else… what then?”

I sigh.

“Then… I guess we talk.”

He nods. Funny, he’s not looking at all cut up. Maybe that was exactly what he was wanting to hear. And now that I think that, I feel just a little bit sick. Geez, this shit is more complicated than it should be.

“So, fuck buddies for ever?” I say, jokingly.

He looks shocked, then catches the mischievous look on my face and laughs.

“Kid, you never stop surprising me!”

“If I do, call an ambulance.”

Wholesome

“Hey, Maisy?”

“Yeah, Mum?”

“I’m going out to Mrs Smith’s – can you do the vacuuming while I’m gone?”

“You pay me Aussie dollar?”

“You know, once upon a time you begged me to let you vacuum.”

“Uh huh – we’re all naïve sometime, Mum.”

“Usual amount.”

“Wicked.”

I toss the magazine I was reading on my desk, grab my mp3 player and headphones, and head for the spare room. Not like I had anything interesting to do anyhow.

Ten minutes later I’m dancing the vacuum around the lounge to Fat Boy Slim on loud. I’ve done the actual work and I swing the nozzle around for an extra flourish – and I see Mark standing in the hall looking very, very amused.

“Shades of a young Tom Cruise, I think,” he says when I tear the headphones off.

“Bastard! Who sneaks up on a gal when she’s cleaning?” I say, grinning.

“Hey, are you home all alone?”

I get where he’s going with this, and grin.

“She’s at a friend’s, she’ll be gone for a couple of hours more, I’d say…”

He raises an eyebrow.

“Help with the cleaning first – just the hall to do?”

He makes a face.

“Do I have to?”

“You could leave…”

“Damn.”

“Just move the stuff off the floor so I have a clear run at the carpet.”

He sighs and does what he’s told.

****

“You’re worth the cleaning.”

I snort.

“You’re such a romantic!” I say sarcastically.

He slides a finger lightly down my side, over my hip and down to my knee. Cripes, it feels like every single nerve on the path of that finger goes nuts. I’ve never had that sort of reaction to a guy before. OK, so the few experiences I have had were mostly idiots who didn’t realise that I wasn’t into it because I hadn’t kneed them in the crotch yet, but… still, wow. I tilt my face up to his and he takes the hint to kiss me again.

“Yup, much better when you don’t say anything,” I say, grinning at him.

He tickles me, which just leads to more kissing.

“Crap, Mum’s due home soon for dinner,” I say eventually.

“Damn.”

“Come on, let’s go and do something wholesome-looking.”

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