How I Met My Wife

I always loved single mothers. Other people would tsk, shake their heads and mutter about tax dollars. I’d smile broadly, head on over and help out with the groceries while checking for a wedding ring or shaving cream. I saw the as the perfect meat market – full of easy women – that commitment-phobes like me dreamed of.

Then I met my wife. She stared me down, and when I asked for her number (getting out my pen, because hey – these women were usually flattered) she told me to stick it where the sun don’t shine.

Yeeeeouch.

So I did. I reached down the back of my pants and I stuck that pen. None of the people passing by batted an eyelid – men sticking their hands down their pants is stock standard in this neighbourhood. But she was taken aback. Then she laughed – bingo. I asked her to come back to my place – we’d put the kid in front of the PS3 and head to the bedroom to find out if the pen really were mightier than the sword. She sniggered and agreed.

I’ve been in love with the evil wench ever since. How could I not be? She taught me that not only can I talk out of my arse, I can write with it too.

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11 Comments

  1. […] I just put a new story up on Nomesque Fiction. It’s something that occurred to me late last night (around midnight) after I’d been helping hubby with a powerpoint presentation for TAFE. So I got up and wrote it down, because otherwise it’d bug me til I fell asleep and then all I’d remember in the morning was that I had a chance at genius and muffed it. If I write the stuff down, then I can read it in the morning and know that genius is safe somewhere over the other side of the world. […]

  2. It may get some vile spam, but it’s funny stuff. 🙂

  3. Thanks Anja 🙂

  4. It’s a good thing that he didn’t pull out his cell phone to program in the number.

  5. Sorry I’ve never left a reply on your blog, it’s just that I love your stories so much that I never get to leave a reply.

    Oh, I almost forgot to say, Mum told me your son was sick at the moment, so I hope he gets much better soon, and keep up the good work with your blog, nearly every day I come on here to read your stories.

    (P.S I like the new look of your blog.)

  6. Rofl.

    Loving it.

  7. *snigger*

    noice!!!

    remind me not to b borrow pens from strange men at the supermarket lol

  8. Evyl – *snigger* Good point.

    Feral – thanks for commenting, mate – answered you on the other page.

    WS – I’m glad you liked it *lol*

    Bettina – ROTFL. Damn. Another perfectly normal thing I can’t do for fear of bums.

  9. The first few sentences I had doubts about this little ficlet, but by the Yeeouch I began appreciating it for its brevity and humor.

    A perfect example of a story with the point addressed in few words.

    • Sorrel – I’ve rewritten this one recently, and made it flow a bit better. I’ll have to get off my bum and post the rewrite.

  10. I’ll be glad to see it when it’s done! 😀


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