Fiction Blogger

Sally was a blogger. Of a sort.

She sat in front of her computer and pondered a new blog.

Who should she be this time? Her disabled-mummy-of-three blog was her biggest draw card – but the posts could get downright depressing at times, even though they were crap. So, make it nothing too tug-the-heartstrings. Hmmm… her entrepeneur/investments blog was damn popular too – scary, since she didn’t have a single cent in any such thing. Funny how people’s credulity and superstition could be moved and swayed by the right words.

Aha!

She typed,

I’m a ghost-hunter and alien-seeker from Mumbai, India. My father is English, my mother was a vedic mystic in the tradition of Maitreyi. So it’s unsurprising that I ended up part-mystic, part-sceptic. I travel the world looking for evidence of my mother’s world through my father’s eyes.

She sat back and smiled at the monitor. That was bound to be a winner!

She set up a ‘ghosthunter’ subdomain on one of her generic blogging domains. Brilliant!

Now – how would she make money out of this one? Offer courses in ghost hunting? Sell ‘specialist equipment’? Hell, why not do both?

****

The new blog set up, Sally had another challenge. She needed new material for her current blogs, too. And she was out of inspiration.

“Think!” she told herself fiercely.

Well, when all else fails, she thought – blog about having no inspiration. She navigated to her disabled-single-mum blog’s write post page.

I’ve been wanting to update you guys,

she typed,

but frankly, my life is boring as shit, lovies. Nothing is new, nothing is happening. Nathan is still having trouble at school, Jessie is still throwing temper tantrums at the slightest excuse, and Jordan is still cute as a button and a typical troublesome toddler. My missing leg and my back still hurt like hell. I’m still broke and the bills are still rolling in. I don’t think we need to sell the house yet, but we’re damn close.

Sorry for the downer, lovies, but I’m all out of happy right now. Talk to you again soon, hopefully in a better mood. Kisses.

Sally grinned, pleased with herself. That was perfect, and a nice surprise after such a blah start. She pressed Publish, then wandered over to the kitchen to make a coffee.

****

Later in the day, Sally checked back to see how her stats were doing. As she waited for the page to load, she wondered whether it was time to introduce another romance. Internet dating sites were desperate for publicity, and her ad revenue always skyrocketed when she started a new ‘relationship’. Although she couldn’t help thinking that in reality, surely men weren’t too likely to be interested in a crippled single mother – were they? Because in the last couple of years, her fake identity with one leg and 3 kids had gotten a lot more action in bed than she had. But her readers seemed to find it all perfectly believable.

The page loaded, and she looked at her stats – nice and high today, good! And an incoming link to her latest post. Curious, she checked who was writing about her ‘blah’ post. She read – and then sat, shocked and stunned.

Stephanie, our favourite mummy blogger with attitude, is doing it tough this year. If you’ve never heard of our Steph, head over to HoppingMadMummy to check her out. But to give you an idea – two years ago, Steph and her husband were in a car accident. Her husband died. Steph was badly injured, and had a leg amputated. Since then, she’s been struggling to raise three kids on a disability pension. Now she’s faced with losing their house to pay the bills.

Folks, I’m putting a call out to the blogging world. We can’t let one of our own fall in a heap while we blather on about memes and funny stories. So I’m starting a worldwide blogger fundraiser to help Steph and her family get back on their feet. And I’m putting my money where my mouth is. For every $1000 raised, I’ll put in $50.

Are you in?

More coming soon.

“Wow!” said Sally softly. She was used to attention – almost 3000 subscribers on this blog alone at last check – and sympathy… but money? Could she really let people donate their own money to a fictional cause?

****

“But it’s money in the bank, George!” Sally wailed.

“Sal… what was the point of starting those blogs?”

“To make money, dammit!”

“And…?”

Sally sighed. She knew exactly what her best friend was getting at.

“To do it without hurting anyone,” she said reluctantly. “You’re right – you’re right! Dammit! But how the hell do I stop them?”

“Say no? Refuse to give them your last name or address or bank details?”

Sally nodded and grimaced.

“They’re not going to be impressed,” she said, and sighed.

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6 Comments

  1. I lovvvvvvvvvvvvve it.

  2. Thanks, Beast! 🙂 More coming soon, I hope – I just have to get my brain in gear.

  3. Throw in a search for Sasquatch, a chupacabra hunt, a Yeti adventure, a Loch Ness Monster sighting and she might have a winner. Selling action toys along with posts would be a sure fire money maker.

  4. LOL Another great one, Naomi 😀
    Keep ’em coming!

  5. Lol, it’s scary how many times I’ve been down this train of thought 🙂

  6. XD

    Blogging is a budding industry on the net, and one often wonders how many blogs are fake. This story was interesting in that it highlighted that fact.

    I especially enjoyed the ending. I love the endings to your stories, they are sometimes such wonderful surprises (or nasty surprises for the characters, which is fine too!).


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