It was dark.

That was Sally’s first, and not particularly original, thought.

Her second was a rather panicked, “I’ve been abducted by aliens! Where the hell am I?”

Her third was, “Definitely too many margaritas, damn him!”

“George?” She called out weakly.

No reply, just the darkness.

She turned her head, tried moving her legs and arms. All there, all responding, and none restrained that she could tell. She was lying on something soft… sheets? Blankets? Her head rested on what felt suspiciously like a pillow. Sitting up cautiously, she felt around her. Yup, a bed. Not hers.

“Hi!” said a cheery female voice.

Sally groaned. Not an alcohol-induced hallucination, then. The light switched on, and Sally closed her eyes reflexively.

“Bit of a headache?” the voice asked jauntily, “Sorry about that, it’ll wear off soon.”

Sally cracked open one eyelid cautiously.

“YOU? You abducted me?” she demanded incredulously, “Why the hell did you do that?”

Lana shrugged. “Couldn’t take the chance of someone checking on you,” she said. “Come on, on your feet, slowpoke! I want to give you a tour, you’re going to love it here!”

Sally shot her abductor a filthy look and got up.


“So let me get this straight,” Sally said thoughtfully, “You’re wanting to get pregnant with Justin’s baby, but you’re not human, so you’re having some difficulties… and you think a human reproduction ‘expert’ like me can help?”

Lana nodded.

“The DNA’s no problem,” she explained, “We can get a viable foetus no worries – but we’re having trouble giving it the right growing environment. I think it’s partly the – hor-mones? I don’t have them. I tried acting cranky once a month, but that doesn’t seem to do it.”

Sally snorted.

“Right… first, do you have a placenta? And what are you planning to feed the little tyke?”


“Ai ai ai…” muttered Sally. “It’s what the baby attaches to and gets all its nutrients from,” she explained at a normal volume, “kind of like a filter between it and mum. It gets rid of its waste products the same way.”

“Ahh…” said Lana thoughtfully, “not hard to grow… blood-rich tissue, right?”

Sally nodded, “Think so.”

“And my blood needs to carry all the human nutrients… I can do that!”

Sally looked impressed. “Interesting biochemistry you have there, girl! But.. tell me something…”

“Mmmmm?” said Lana, looking distracted.

“If you can do all this other stuff, why can’t you grow human skin? Why the green scaly look?”

“Ha!” said Lana, “Simple – yes, I can do it. But if I do, I suffocate. I don’t breathe like you, I absorb oxygen through my scaly stuff. Human skin doesn’t have the same capacity to suck oxygen through it, and I’ve never been able to come up with a substitute that’s even the right colour, let alone texture.” she shrugged helplessly.

“Huh,” said Sally thoughtfully, “but then couldn’t you just grow lungs and airways and stuff instead, and breathe like we do?”

Lana stared at her, horrified. “That’s disgusting! UGH! I mean, the SLIME you creatures produce!” she shuddered delicately, “Errr… no offense, Sally, you can’t help it.

“Anyway,” she resumed, “even if I could cope with the slime factor, I’d be forgetting to breathe all the time… can’t build in the automatic functions without major reprogramming – and you never come out of THAT quite the same,” she said with distaste. “No, I can alter almost anything else, but not that one!”

Sally nodded and bit her lip. Well, this had the Ask Dr Sal blog beat for challenges.


Sally shrugged, and looked at Lana.

“I’m sorry, babe… I don’t think it can be done. We’ve tried everything I can think of, nothing’s working” she sighed, “I don’t suppose you can abduct a biologist?”

Lana shook her head and frowned.

“No, too risky…”

“Bummer,” said Sally sympathetically. Despite the whole discrediting and kidnapping routine, she was starting to like this quirky alien. Stockholm syndrome, she wondered? Whatever. “It’s so frustrating that you’re nearly there – the DNA looks perfect, the foetus grows… all you need is a more human womb!”

Lana looked up with a speculative gleam in her eye.

“Nuh uh!” said Sally, backing away fast, “No bloody way are you implanting an alien foetus in MY uterus! You’ve stuffed up my life quite enough, dammit!”

Lana considered.

“How about if we pay you? You’re out of a job now, right? Laze around for a few months, get paid for it… isn’t that at least slightly tempting?”

Sally sighed. For an alien, this chick was disturbingly human-savvy.

“Look, what do you want this baby for, anyway? It’s going to be a freak, how the hell can you bring it up to be happy?” she demanded.

Lana shrugged, “Tradition,” she said simply, “Every time our race comes across an alien species, we breed with it. The baby will be treasured, not shunned.”

“Like the Borg?” Sally asked, raising an eyebrow, “Resistance is futile?”

She snorted.

Lana looked mildly confused.

“Never mind!” snapped Sally, irritated. “Look… you’re not going to do something horrible with this baby?”

“Have we done horribly biological experiments on you?”

“Hmmm… point,” said Sally, “although it looks like you want to, right?”

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  1. LMAO
    This is going along quite nicely! 🙂

  2. Thanks! 😀

    Now to work out what an alien birth should look like 😛

  3. […] story about a duplicitous fiction blogger who got on the wrong side of an alien… Abducted follows her back to the alien’s secret […]

  4. Bahahaha.

    Love it.

    This isn’t an autobiography by any chance is it ??? 😉


    They’ll find me.

    And Bubba Boy.

  6. I like it.

  7. During the last chapter/story I wondered, briefly, if Sally’s fetus was going to be used.

    I admit, I didn’t originally thought the alien was going to be a girl, and though I am a sucker for a romance story I actually really like this series.

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