Suicide Blue

It was warm. That was the first thing Zara noticed. Compared to the temperature in the subway, it was nearly tropical. Bliss. The second thing she noticed was the décor – calm, blue abstract murals which swayed gently, as if she were suddenly underwater. Appropriate, she thought, smiling. A baptism, of sorts.

“Are you here for the information session, dear?” asked a young woman in white coat and pants. The classic ‘trust me’ medical garb, worn for centuries.

“No, I’ve done that at home,” Zara said, “I’m here for a counselling appointment?”

“Oh, lovely!” the woman beamed, and led her through an archway into a comfortable waiting room. “A doctor will see you soon, dear!” she said, and departed to greet another guest.

Shades of grey, Zara noted as she looked around. Soothing, unemotional, bringing to mind clouds rather than concrete.

A door opened.

“Zara!” a cheerful voice said. “Come on in!”

The doctor was tall and plump in comparison to most of the population. He was bearded… an anachronism in an age where most people perma-depilated in their teens. She frowned.

“You look like… my grandfather!” she said, finding the correlation.

The doctor nodded, unruffled. “You’d be amazed how many people tell me that!” he twinkled. “Come, sit down, let’s talk!” He sat in a comfortable lounge chair and beckoned her toward another.

She sat, and fidgeted with her fingers.

“I need to do this,” she blurted. “I’m not… I’ve never… I’m just me, you know? I’ll never do anything amazing for humanity, except this.”

The doctor nodded.

“You’ve done the information session?” he asked.

“I have, I want to do it. I need to do it,” she said.

“You understand that there’s no changing your mind after this step? What you’ll be giving up?”

She nodded and shrugged. “It’s never been that fantastic, doc – I’m going slowly mad here, that’s all!”

He sighed and looked at his wrist unit. A green light shone to let him know that the decision was made – she was in.

“OK,” he said, and gestured to a door in the grey room’s wall. “Walk through that door, and you’re in the program.”

She grinned and dashed through. He sighed again, staring at the door which had slammed behind her. Once upon a time he would have taken her out and shown her the time of her life, opened her eyes to life’s possibilities. Once… in another age. In this one, suicide was her best option.

This story is continued in In The Program.


  1. […] you wait, check out Suicide Blue, my latest piece of fiction. It has absolutely nothing to do with any of my other stories – just a […]

  2. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that’s very tantalising!

  3. omg! that’s great! I loved it!
    can you turn it into a novel! I want to know more :p

  4. There is at least one more Zara story coming. Suicide in her day isn’t quite as simple as in ours. 😉

  5. I liked it.
    No I didn’t, I loved it!

  6. You are not going to leave us hanging for too long will you ??

    I am very intrigued.

  7. […] A follow-on from Suicide Blue. […]

  8. very intriguing Naomi …

  9. Oooh! I like this.

    Is: “He sighed and looked at his wrist unit. A green light shone to let him know that the decision was made – she was in.”

    Like, a lie-detector like thing, but telling she is ready to move on?

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