Vengeance – Act 1

I realise I was sounding like a complete psycho last time you were here. But you’ve gotta understand, mate – I’m living in a little piece of hell. In fact, I reckon demons sticking pitchforks in my arse while I stand on hot coals sounds easy-peasy right now. Because this silly bitch has more imagination than any demon. Anyone’d think she’d been studying up on interrogation techniques – minoring in Breaking The Bastard Down. So far I’ve had feminist crap music being played full-bore in the early morning (like, 3am), my TV switching channels every time I relax, the fridge and freezer being unplugged, my BBQ’s exploded… I’m a man on the edge. Coffee doesn’t help anymore. Besides, I have to go to the cafe to get one because she’ll switch the sugar with salt just for a laugh.

Lemme give you an idea of one of my days, OK? Yesterday. I woke up, and there was no music playing. Thank God, I think, she’s gotten the hint and buggered off. So I sit up, and my foot lands in a slime of cat vomit. Don’t wanna know where the hell she got that from. So I swear and wipe off my foot and she pinches me on the bum while I’m doing it and I fall on my arse and set off my sciatica, like she knew it would. I hobble to the bathroom to piss, and then take a look in the mirror. My hair’s blue, and my eyebrows are orange, and my skin’s green. I look like a smurf, a munchkin and an oompa loompa had an orgy and I was their love-child. Shit. I get into the shower and scrub and scrub. I get out and check the mirror, and discover that it’s changed… not a bit. Fuck fuck fuck. So I gave up, and I went to the cafe anyway. Everyone’s staring and laughing the whole way there, and then the staff are goggling and trying not to be rude.

“Psycho ex,” I explain and grin disarmingly, and shit if it doesn’t work – they all smile sympathetically and the bloke at the coffee machine makes me a free extra-large iced coffee thing with extra cream. Then, because he’s a smart-arse, puts green, blue and orange sprinkles on top. Whatever. Caffeine. Fat. Sugar. Heaven. Temporarily, of course. Cos then Linda turns up, right in public. She sits opposite me and one of the staff come over to take her order. She asks for a double espresso, black, hot. I frown at her but can hardly say, “Bugger off, you’re a ghost!” in front of everyone, can I? So I sweat it out, and her double espresso arrives. She throws it in my face and disappears.

The staff are all gaping. Well hell, they did just see a woman disappear into thin air. I count my options and quickly look as confused as anybody else. To help matters, I squeeze out a tear or two. Not too hard considering I just had scalding liquid all over my face.

So there you have it. You’re the exorcist – how the hell do we get rid of this chick?



I sit in the chair, listening to this pale shadow of a man pour out his crappy black heart to me, and I do my best to look sympathetic. MUSTN’T smirk!

We don’t want to put the wind up him.



  1. Your stuff just keeps getting better – love this!

    (although, I COULD see A traipsing off to work with hair like that… ;))

  2. *snicker*

    I’m glad you’re liking these ones – slightly different subject matter… 😀

  3. Wow, Naomi, this series is different! You’ve captured the guy’s personality spot on. One thing I long for — I wanted to actually see the guy and Linda having their fight rather than hearing about it only from his POV. To step back and see them interact or to describe it first from his POV and then hers. The contrast of him being alive and she dead and essentially still interacting is fun. Then to have Trent caught between the two of them? Would Trent be able to see Linda?

    Nice job.


  4. Cinda, I must admit that a desire to see what really happened was what I was aiming for – in life, it’s near-impossible to know. So I’m hoping to play on that a little, see what people think happened. I’ve got a couple more stories in this series scheduled this month – they answer most of your questions. Well, partly.

    Thanks for the comments – they help a lot.

  5. Magic; both the story and what the poor sod needs!



  6. G’day Dave – yeah, he’s not looking in particularly good shape, is he? Paranormal vengeance is a bitch…

  7. Yeah, OK – now you’ve got me hooked.

  8. Alan – Woohoo! I love seeing someone get hooked… 😀

  9. Me too – feels good, huh? I must write some more serial fiction – since my last serial novella finished last year I haven’t done any.

    • As you might be able to tell… I go a little overboard on the serials… lol.

  10. If I had a ghost like that around…

    Well I think most people would hang themselves or something. O_o

    He must have a sheer force of will!

    • *chuckle*

      I think maybe Mike’s worried about ending up in Linda’s world… even though she’s making his hellish enough…

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